I know this blog is for reviewing older matches from different eras but I'm just so pumped for the royal rumble I have every intention of sitting down eating pizza (maybe even stuffed crust Seth Rollins) and drinking beer while watching the PPV. But drinking all regular like is not very hip and cool of me so I've decided to challenge myself and possible others to a Royal rumble drinking game I've compiled some rules from various game templets (Surprisingly I'm not the first person to think of this) and added some of my own.I'm going to give it a whirl and invite you to do the same, let me know if there are any rules to be added or removed so I can improve on it for next year's night of drinking.
And for continuities sake Hipster side fact:
SO HERE ARE THE RULES:
One sip
1) Every time a commentator reminds us that "it's every man for himself." 2) Every time Kane eliminates someone 3) Every time Roman reigns eliminates someone 4) Every time the WWE network is mentioned 5) Every time "twitter" or "trending" is mentioned
Two sips 1) if the ring gets cleared of all but one or if you really need a drink that bad 2 participants 2) whenever 4 or more wrestlers band together to eliminate a fat guy. 3) Someone is almost eliminated but jumps or lifts himself back in 4) Drink every time someone hits their finisher in the Rumble match. 5) When a champion of any sort comes out (Tag IC US hell diva for all I care)
Three sips
1) When a surprise entrant comes out 2) When your least favorite wrestler is eliminated 3) When your favorite wrestler comes to the ring 4 ) Every time the "lucky" number 27 is mentioned 5) When a eliminated wrestler takes revenge
Finish your drink or do a shot
1) When your favorite wrestler gets eliminated 2) If the person you predicted would win the rumble gets eliminated 3) whenever anyone gets eliminated in less than 10 seconds. 4) whenever the fans cheer a heel or boo a face 5) If someone starts bleeding 6) When participant 30 comes out
Why
I chose this moment in history: An attitude era PPV I have to think
this Armageddon is a perfect example, with the all the key players of
the time on display. Multiple matches featuring the "attitude" of the
time.
Hipster side fact: Armageddon was the only WWF PPV to be held in the state of Alabama
Match
of the day: 6 man hell in a cell match for the WWF championship. Kurt
Angle vs. Undertaker vs. the rock vs. HHH vs. Rikishi vs. Stone cold
Steve Austin
Winner (15 year spoiler alert): Kurt Angle
Quote
of the match: There were actually a lot to chose from here but first
come first serve, the one that first stuck out to me was "Well this man
doesn't have a limp bizkit I can guarantee ya' he's got more testicular
fortitude than maybe anyone in this match up!" From JR in reference to
the Undertaker and his theme music by questionably named band limp
bizkit.
Opinion / Observations:
- First thing I noticed was how much Jay and Jimmy Uso look like their father Rikishi
-
Second thing I noticed . . . how weird it is to see Teddy Long as a
referee, he probably just showed up because he thought this was a tag
team match
- And the free for all begins
-
The undertaker goes about choking Kurt . . . with his bandana they were
both selling it hardcore but dudes , , , it's a bandana.
-
Poor HHH and Rikishi just getting the tar beaten out of them the first
quarter of the match the other quarters weren't so good on them either.
- Austin was the first to draw blood, busting HHH's head open with a melee of punches.
- Adding insult and injury Austin then resumes raking HHH's face across the cage.
-
Ref kind of useless for majority of the beat downs, just trying to
convince anyone to get back in the ring. It finally pays off though,
when the wrestlers realize that you have to be IN the ring to win.
- HHH and Rikishi hug it out momentarily, a heart warming moment destroyed by a pedigree
-
Trying to toss the Undertaker over the ropes is all but pointless, he's
freaky tall and his feet hit the floor before your attempt is 3/4 way
done.
-Vince McMahon pimp cane in hand rides in on the
back of a truck filled with what I thought was hay but was apparently
kennel bedding . . . obviously. Hooked the truck to the door to rip it
off. You would think the CEO would be able to get his hands on some
keys.
- Drivers star hooking up chains to the rest of
the cage but Mick Foley will be having none of that, getting security to
escort Vince out of his own company's event and then flat out beating
up Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco
- The wrestlers that the ref had worked so hard to get in the ring start to neander out and away from said ring.
- HHH delivers an awkward choppy looking pedigree to the Rock on a car
-
Made up for that sloppy move by taking one for the team and getting
catapulted into a car. It made me smile the over the top extra elevation
he got.
- Everyone starts to congregate back to that thing called a ring
- Kurt using a chair on the Undertaker does momentarily remind people that he's a part of this match.
-
HHH starts climbing the cage . . . for what reason I don't understand,
all I know that he was precariously close to getting pantsed
-
Undertaker calls out for and gets thrown a chair, now that's service,
but be careful what you wish for cause Rikishi made far better use of
that chair, at Undertaker's expense.
- Time for the use of that convenient kennel bedding truck still sitting right outside of the ring
- It wasn't a chokeslam so much as a push
- Everyone paused to see Rikishi's "fall from grace." It was an impressive fall, he really sold it lip quiver and all.
-
"Undertaker still can't get down from the top of the ring." King notes
that Undertaker is out of the running because he's the last man standing
up on the roof, all that effort for nothing.
- After
all the blood sweat and stunners Kurt crawls over for an underwhelming
pin and win. Regardless a win is a win good for you Kurt!
- Mostly
- "This is the after birth of hell in a cell." Gross yet hilarious comment from King
-
All in all I liked the match I get why it's a classic but some of it
seemed too much too over the top. blood for just bloods sake but that's
not a new problem and it's not one that's gone away it's just something
you either grow to love or bear . . . I'm somewhere in between on that
one.
Other show observations:
The
hardyz and Lita's intergenender match aganst the radicalz was . . .
stupid, mostly because it was beyond predictable and sure a lot of WWF /
WWE matches are predictable but for some reason knowing how this match
was going to go down made me even less intrested than I already was.It
wasn't a total wash there were some great moves Jeff did a nice
corkscrew and Lita's moonsaults always look pretty.
I
just think they don't do intergender matches that often for a reason.
Because it ends one of two ways the chick tries her very hardest but
ends up losing and getting manhandled or she wins but only due to some
sort of outside interference, there are exceptions to the rule but not
many.
- My favorite quote of the whole night, actually
made me give a mild laugh out loud, not sure why I found it so funny but
I did. Lillian was interviewing Kurt and he had a question of his own
to ask her.
Kurt: Are you Bulgarian?
Lillian: No
Kurt Do you know any Bulgarians?
Lillian I can't say that I do Kurt.
Kurt" Well I do!
And
he goes on and on about his Olympic prowess and all the nationalities
he had to beat to get the gold, just the intensity of which he let
everyone know that HE knew Bulgarians was funny to me.
-
Next was a match for the European title. Remember the European title? I
don't really, I was aware of it but had never really watched it in
action that i recall, I could be wrong.
- William Regal
started a soliloquy on how red neck Alabamans were only for Alabama's
own hardcore Holly to come out and set his straight.
- King was more intrested in harkerchiefs than the match not a good sign.
-
The Bow and arrow submission hold put on Holly was something I'm not
used to seeing but I should see that move more often it's awesome.
- Poor Holly nothing goes his way as out of nowhere and for reasons I don't understand Raven comes out and DDT's Holly.
-
Remember when I said there were exceptions to Intergender matches being
entertaining? Chyna vs. Test as well as I'm sure many Chyna's matches
meet the criteria for the exception.
- Side note Chyna's entrance kinda cool.
- Between Clothslines and Swinging neckbreakers and Ivory's face oh my! Match of the year? No. A worthwile filler yes.
-
Next was a match I had already watched before: Kane vs. Chris Jericho
in a last man standing match. I love any match with Kane in it, even
ones he loses so I watched it again . . . and loved it again. Kane and
Jericho are both great wrestlers and they both put on a great match.
- The four way match for the tag titles also fun to watch. Of which I learned three things:
1.
R-Truth or K-Kwik as he was known at the time looks exactly as he did
then as he does now . . . time has not effected this man at all.
2. Right to censor was a waste of space and ill-fitting white dress shirts.
3. The Dudley's doing the whole wasssup thing didn't get old, I thought it would but it was fun every time.
After
this match the network cut out on me and I figured it was god's way of
saying stop watching, which after already seeing the main event I did
just that stopped watching hoping I didn't miss something.
Feel
free to let me know if I will regret that decision for the rest of my
life, but right now I'm making the decision to end this painfully long post.
The day was: Thursday November 22nd 1990 (Survivor series.)
Why I chose this moment in history: It's my birth year so this as far in the past as I can say "When I was young" and it actually being factually accurate. Truthfully I was born in april so I have a few back in my day's saved for later.
Match of the day: The Undertaker, Greg Valentine, The Honkey Tonk Man and Ted Diabiase Vs. Bret Hart, Dusty Rhodes, Jim Neidhart and Koko B Ware
Winner (24 year spoiler alert in the making.) : The Million Dollar Team
I remember when: The Undertaker made his televised debut.
Hipster side fact: Undertaker originally had a first name. Cain. Guess the WWF liked it so much they used it twice.
Quote of the match: Gorilla: There's only supposed to be four members on a team; this guy makes four and a half, maybe five.
-If this match is any indication of the Undertaker's early WWF years, this has the possibility to be my favorite Undertaker. From his simple ring gear especially appreciate the giant ass tie and the business In the front and funeral party in the back mullet. In this match he really embodied that stoic, basically soulless demeanor. His slow but powerful ring action had it's desired effect of portraying imposing force. The Undertaker I was introduced to over a decade later, still great, still intimidating but to me it wasn't the same sense of awe and a little bit of fear he exuded in his early years. It was more so "check out the badass who destroys everyone in his path and has a bitchin fog machine." In my frequent youtubing I've seen matches from a few different manifestations of the Undertaker but early Undertaker and Ministry of Darkness Undertaker are the two I know the least about so perhaps I'm jumping the gun just a smidge.
- I did not know that Paul Bearer wasn't by Undertaker's side from the very beginning. It was interesting and somewhat amusing to see what seemed to be the out of place Brother Love at Undertaker's side, all red faced and spastic while Undertaker lurched around ambivalent.
- Koko B. Ware is an awesome name . . . and that's all I have to say about that.
- Ted DiBiase's "Bodyguard" Virgil . . . weirds me out. I don't think it's his persona that's odd to me I get it, and if it didn't work they wouldn't use that same idea over and over and over again. What is it about Virgil I don't like then? As shallow as it is to me overtime I saw him all I could think is: " Dude you got a weird face and the rose colored sleeveless tuxedo . . . thing is doing you no favors either." And I get it that's the look they were going for man servant pool boy thing, still distracting to look at.
- Heard Ted DiBiase's theme for the first time, and I love it so much it was great.
Other Show notes: The other debut of the night, of which people forget the Gobbledy Gooker (of whom I had never heard of till I watched WWE Countdown's infamous gimmicks.) The egg cracks slowly, dramatically and out pops the . . . turkey. "Don't tell me you're the Gobbledy Gooker" Mean Gene spoke as if it was a huge deal. "Oh no, oh the humanity the Gobbledy Gooker . . . thing person I totally have heard legends about." Said no one ever. There was some scattered I guess what could be called cheers. Then some awkward dancing. Followed by some super impressive rolls. Mean Gene bouncing off the ropes tripped and fell and did a more impressive (and by impressive I mean hilarious) roll of his own. More hoedown dancing and rolling and cartwheels before the painful segment came to a odd close.
How do you define a wrestling hipster? With one open ended statement: "Today's wrestling is garbage. I used to love it, back in the day when . . ." Insert random match, wrestler or event or your choosing, as obscure as possible ideally.
What's wrong with having an opinion? What's wrong with being knowledgeable of something you are or were a fan of? Nothing everyone is entitled to an opinion, I'm not even saying I disagree 100 % with that opinion some stuff now is garbage, some older matches were beyond awesome. Nothing is wrong with being nostalgic and remembering great moments in wrestling history. It's the condescending look and follow up statement "I can't believe you never saw . . ." Insert match or segment or wrestler that you are banking on the person your conversing with doesn't know . . . because you're the better fan. And if you are talking to me. you have a 96 percent chance that your hunch will be right.
I will freely admit, I am a late bloomer I suppose. I only really began a consistent fan of wrestling in the mid 2000's, if I was put on the spot to be more specific I would say sometime in 2006, a random raw, the first match I saw being between Kane and Jericho. Don't remember that specific minute match? Guess I'm a better wrestling fan than you. So yes I missed the Golden era, The attitude era, the ruthless aggression era (Hell I didn't even know that was a thing.) I missed them all. Now seeing as I don't live under an Amish rock, I have ventured into wikipedia, fallen in to the black hole that is youtube. I have enlightened myself in bits and pieces. Though I'm not entirely oblivious I will concede I am not a wealth of wrestling knowledge. I will never hold my own against a wrestling hipster. Yet!
For you see my plans are not to simply bash on Hipsters, while refusing to better myself. If you can't beat them join them . . . sort of. I plan on going in the way back machine, seeing what happened, getting my learn on, and honestly just be entertained via things I never knew about. I want to make up my own opinion, from my own point of view, my own tastes. I because step two of my plan is to become more egotistical than any hipster could ever be, I want to blog about it as if my opinion matters.
